you were never meant to know ;; amerie

Luka winced as the hot water from the shower head hit his shoulders. He thought finding a career on his own would be good enough, he thought moving out on his own would make them happy. He was wrong. His last visit to his parent's home was a mistake. His father was already in a bad mood to begin with when he first arrived, and seeing his "favorite" son didn't help. Luka had gotten a beating, and although it wasn't horribly deep, it still bled and still stung like hell in the shower.

Luka took his time bathing, making sure not to move his shoulders too quickly. It still stung even to move, and although he seemed to keep his pain a secret, he still worried that Amerie might have caught him wincing or lightly gasping every so often.

He finished his shower and stepped onto the tiled floor. He made his way to the mirror and stood in front of it, wiped away the condensation, and turned to look at his back. The newest wounds were still red and angry looking. He sighed and turned back around, he didn't like looking at the ugly side of him.

Luka grabbed his towel and rubbed it over his hair and face before wrapping it around his waist. No more pity party, he needed to shape up and look happier than he felt. He was going out with Amerie today! Not that going out with Amerie didn't make him happy, it would just be easier to smile without the nasty slice of his father's belt.

"I need to figure out what to wear," he said to his daemon as he shuffled to his closet. It was always hard finding the right outfit. It always made Iris roll her eyes, but Luka took pride in his appearance! While he rummaged through his clothes, he started feeling better and more excited. He hoped he could make today a good one.

"Somethin' cute," Amerie said, walking into Luka's suite with a smile. He was taking her on their first date tonight! Amerie's first date ever, really.

She was excited to go, but she also felt kinda bad. She'd been feeling really guilty ever since Aran had confessed her crush. She'd also been feeling really confused. She was hoping that spending some time with Luka would sort out her feelings. But she'd also avoided Aran today so that she wouldn't have to tell her where she was going. It wasn't a good feeling, avoiding your best friend. Especially since she thought Aran wouldn't like it if she knew Amerie felt awkward. But, well, Amerie felt awkward.

Amerie rounded the corner into Luka's bedroom and saw him digging in his closet, with only a towel wrapped around his waist. She would have blushed and turned away had she not seen the giant red welts that covered his back in a scary, haphazard pattern.

She froze, eyes wide. "Luka?" she asked softly, not able to keep the horror out of her voice.

"Somethin' cute," Amerie said, walking into Luka's suite with a smile. He was taking her on their first date tonight! Amerie's first date ever, really.

She was excited to go, but she also felt kinda bad. She'd been feeling really guilty ever since Aran had confessed her crush. She'd also been feeling really confused. She was hoping that spending some time with Luka would sort out her feelings. But she'd also avoided Aran today so that she wouldn't have to tell her where she was going. It wasn't a good feeling, avoiding your best friend. Especially since she thought Aran wouldn't like it if she knew Amerie felt awkward. But, well, Amerie felt awkward.

Amerie rounded the corner into Luka's bedroom and saw him digging in his closet, with only a towel wrapped around his waist. She would have blushed and turned away had she not seen the giant red welts that covered his back in a scary, haphazard pattern.

She froze, eyes wide. "Luka?" she asked softly, not able to keep the horror out of her voice.

Amerie wrote:"Luka?"

Luka jumped when he heard Amerie's voice. "Oh jeez Am!" he yelped. "I'm not decent!" Oh Gods, did she see them?! Quickly, he grabbed the first pair of jeans and shirt he could find and threw them on. He tried to play it off like he just didn't want her to see him in a towel, but he knew it was too late. "Sorry!" He said breathlessly, "I guess I should have locked the door!" He smiled at her, but his smile slumped into a frown. The look of shock and horror on her face was all too obvious. She had seen the atrocity he had tried so hard to hide.

"Please..." he said sadly, but couldn't finish. Please what? Please leave? Please don't say anything? He didn't know what to do now.

"What happened?" she asked, her voice full of concern. How had Luka gotten so hurt without her knowing? His back had looked so angry and swollen--it had definitely happened recently.

She still didn't move, she was too caught off guard and shocked to do anything.

"I can't..." Luka tried, looking away. "I don't...want to talk about it." He didn't understand why it had been so easy to open up to Aran about this, but not to Amerie. He needed to talk about it though, otherwise they'd never get anywhere together. He felt so ashamed, this strong, smart man, cowers in fear of his old man, beaten down and degraded. He just wanted to be perfect for Amerie, this wasn't perfection.

Nobody is perfect, Iris told him sadly. You need to talk to her.


"Somebody did this to me..." he told her.

"But...but why?" Amerie asked, her face still frozen in terror. Why would someone have done this to Luka? And how? And why was he keeping it a secret?

"Because I'm not good enough!" Luka moaned quietly. "I try to be so damn perfect, and I never make them happy!" He went and sat down on the edge of his bed. He rested his elbows on his knees and ran his hands through his still-damp hair. "All my parents wanted were perfect children, and they got me and my brother instead."

"What?" Amerie asked, suddenly panicking when Luka got all outbursty and sad. His parents did this to him?

She watched Luka sit on the bed and wring his hands through his hair. It seemed like he was panicking too. Amerie just didn't understand. Why would his parents do this? And what did it mean--they had wanted perfect children?

"All my life," Luka began. "I grew up trying to make my parents happy." He sighed shakily, before continuing. "My brother and I were never allowed to fail, always had to be first place, always had to have straight As, and if we didn't, even if it was a B, we were punished." Luka was finally able to look up at Amerie, his eyes brimming with tears. "They would beat us Amerie...they still beat us..."

"They did this to you?" Amerie asked shrilly, her heart pounding in her ears. Luka's parents had given all those welts, all those ripped open scars. And for what?

But he was working for the overloridian. She didn't mean to toot her own horn, but he had a job that most clio would kill for. He was living in the estate, serving as an adviser to the most influential clio in all of Solas. What more did his parents want from him?

"Why? When? How?" Amerie stuttered out questions, feeling like she was going to pass out. Luka had been beaten by his parents for no reason at all. Luka had been beaten by his parents when he was so nice and caring and capable. Luka was sitting in front of her about to lose it, his eyes brimming with tears, but all Amerie could think was why. How. Why. Why. Why.

"They are cruel, horrible, clio, Amerie!" Luka replied miserably. He couldn't hold back his tears any longer, and buried his face into his hands and began to sob silently into them. He hated himself for breaking down in front of Amerie like this. He really was as useless and weak as his father said he was.

He could hear his father's voice now, Stop blubbering you worthless child! Real men don't cry! You are an insect, a worthless, brainless, insect!

He felt so embarrassed. He opened up so easily to Aran, without breaking down once. Why was Amerie finding so different?

"They are cruel, horrible, clio, Amerie!" Luka replied miserably. He couldn't hold back his tears any longer, and buried his face into his hands and began to sob silently into them. He hated himself for breaking down in front of Amerie like this. He really was as useless and weak as his father said he was.

He could hear his father's voice now, Stop blubbering you worthless child! Real men don't cry! You are an insect, a worthless, brainless, insect!

He felt so embarrassed. He opened up so easily to Aran, without breaking down once. Why was Amerie finding out so different?

Amerie crossed the room and sat down next to Luka on the bed. She put her arms around him so that she was holding him tight, trying to prevent the sobs from shaking his body.

"You're here," Amerie said, her voice strained. She didn't know what to do except try to comfort him, but this was an entirely new experience for her. "You're here and they're not. You're safe here."

Luka tensed a bit when he felt Amerie's arms around him, but he relaxed and leaned into her. Slowly the shaking of his shoulders relaxed until there were no more tears. He wiped at his eyes and nose while simultaneously sniffling. "I'm so sorry, Ames," he murmured. "I never wanted you to see those...to see me like this..."

"But why?" Amerie asked quietly. It didn't make any sense that Luka would be ashamed of this. It's not like he had been the one beating someone.

She rubbed his arm, careful not to put too much pressure on his back. Once he calmed down a little bit they would need to get some sort of medicine to put on him.

Luka sat up more and winced from the pain in his back. He wiped at his face some more before continuing. "It's just..." he sighed. "I always try to be strong and perfect, for everybody, and you're my girlfriend...and I just, I wanted to be the best I could be for you...no faults."

"But why would you go back?" Amerie asked, hearing the pain in Luka's voice and wishing she could do something to soothe him. "If they do this to you, why would you ever want to go back there?"

"I don't know," Luka replied. "For some reason I still feel loyal to them," he sighed. "And maybe deep down, I feel like I deserve it." It sounded awful, but Luka was pretty much brainwashed his whole life. His younger brother was able to get away from it all, and he envied him so much for it.

Amerie shook her head. That was ridiculous. "I don't want you going back," she told him in a forceful voice. Caviar was shocked by the determination he heard from Amerie. She'd only spoken like that once before, in her overloridian voice. And that was to tell Kole to get out of Solas.

"Whatever you're thinking, you don't deserve that. No one deserves that." The fact that Luka thought he deserved anything from those monsters made her confused and sick.

"Help me," Luka replied. "Help me get away, help me cut off all ties, I need help..."

He was afraid of them yes, but he didn't want to suffer anymore. Moving out helped him realize little by little that he didn't need his parents approval anymore. Maybe one day, he could even stand up to them.

"You're already away," Amerie said softly. He was here, right beside her. He lived here now, and had a job and was self sufficient. "And you're not going back."

And Amerie would have to do something about those awful clio that lived in Dahlin.

Despite the pain and sadness Luka felt, he was able to smile at Amerie. "Thank you Ames," he said. "Thank you for everything!" He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. He was so thankful for the new clio who came into his life. Aran. Amerie. If it weren't for them, he'd still be in the same awful place he's always been.

The two of them decided not to go out, and Amerie treated his wounds. Instead they spent an evening indoors together, talking quietly to each other, sipping wine and enjoying each others company. Despite the bad things that had happened today, they ended up having a good time.