I need to tell you something [arizona]

Joel had been giving his situation a lot of thought lately. When he'd first taken this job, he'd thought it was actually for the good of Deilig. However, it didn't take him long to figure out that that wasn't true. He wasn't helping to protect Deilig, he was just putting Adhbhar in jeopardy, and for what? He should've just quit as soon as he figured out the truth, but he had also quickly learned that clio who quit jobs like this in Deilig had a tendency to "disappear."

But he just couldn't keep doing this. Not just because he knew it was wrong in general, or because the clio of Abhbhar didn't deserve it, but because he couldn't keep lying to Arizona. She had come to like him a lot, and Joel couldn't keep taking advantage of that. As a compromise he'd started feeding fake information to Deilig officials, hoping that would be enough to ease his conscience. But even then, he was still lying to Arizona.

The worst part was, he really did like her back. She brought out a side of him that he didn't even know he had. He'd never felt the way he felt around her before. In a perfect world that would be a good thing. She liked him, he liked her. They could be together. But the fact of the matter was, he'd been lying to her for months. He had to tell her, even if it meant never seeing her again and never returning to Deilig again.

He had spent all morning mentally preparing himself before he finally gathered up enough courage to go knock on her bedroom door. "Arizona?" he called. "I need to talk to you."

Arizona had just gotten out of the shower when she heard a knock at her door. "Just a second!" She called, before quickly ripping off her towel and wrapping a robe around her body. She opened her door, and there was Joel, looking as handsome as ever.

"Hey!" She said, while smiling up at him. "What's up?" She backed away so that he could come into her bedroom, while wrapping a towel around her wet hair.

Oh gods, she always looked so happy to see him. Why did she have to look so happy to see him? Even though he knew confessing to her what the right thing to do, he hated how much it was going to hurt her. "Listen, I...can we sit down?" he asked. They walked over and sat on her bed. He hesitated, taking a deep breath. "There's something I have to tell you. But, but before I do, I want you to know that I really do like you, and I don't want to hurt you..."

He meant to continue and just get it all out, but he was too nervous and trailed off for too long.

Arizona sucked in her lips, and followed him to her bed where she sat down next to him. He looked so serious, and it was making her feel nervous.

Joel wrote:"There's something I have to tell you. But, but before I do, I want you to know that I really do like you, and I don't want to hurt you..."

Oh gods. Was he breaking up with her? Was he terminally ill? Was he gay? She bit her bottom lip and laced her fingers together. "What's wrong?" She asked quietly. "Are you...are you breaking up with me?"

"No!" Joel exclaimed, looking her in the eyes. He looked down, quietly adding, "I mean, after this, you might want to break up with me."

He took another breath. "Arizona," he said. Just say it. You just have to say it. "I, I haven't been honest with you for a long time. When I took this job, well, it was kind of under...false pretenses."

False pretenses? Amp repeated. Just spit it out, Joel! Stop dancing around the issue. She, personally, wasn't happy that Joel was confessing at all. But he had made up his mind, so she wished he would just get it over with.

False pretenses? What did that even mean? Arizona's brow furrowed in confusement. "What do you mean?" She asked. How do you work under false pretenses? Unless he was working for someone else. Her eyes narrowed. "Explain..."

Just say it! Amp snapped.

"I've been working for Deilig," Joel blurted out. He let out a sigh. "They sent me to work for you. To gather information." Fuck. He didn't want to see the look on Arizona's face, but he forced himself to meet her eyes. "I'm sorry."

There. He'd said it. He almost hoped that Arizona would just get angry and throw him out. That would be preferable to her being hurt or upset.

Arizona opened her mouth and closed it again. He's been working for Deilig? This whole time? He's been working for that mean, awful man, Kole?

Her immediate feeling was anger. He led her on! Made her think he liked her! He was just using her to get information out of her! Realizing this, she got nervous. What has he found out? What has he told Deilig? Joel may have put her entire eilemaiden and clio in danger, so many lives could be at risk because of this man sitting across from her.

"What have you told them?" She asked steadily. "I need to know if my country is in danger."

Of course her first thought would be her eilemaiden. For all of Arizona's flaws, she really did care about her clio. "I never found out anything serious to tell them," he told her honestly. His information had mostly consisted of the mundane runnings of Adhbhar. In fact he had been warned that if he didn't start getting them anything more important, he might have to have a personal meeting with the overloridian. "For the last several weeks I've been telling them lies."

He didn't know if she'd believe that or not. She had a pretty good reason not to.

Arizona wasn't sure if she should believe him. But then again, he was telling her about his true motives. Why would he tell her something like this, but then lie? She was so confused, hurt, and angry, she didn't know what to think.

"Why would you lie?" She asked. "Why put your life in danger like that?"

She didn't know the full extent of the Deilig overloridian's wrath, but she had heard plenty of rumors that led her to believe that he definitely didn't take too kindly to his employees failing.

"You said it yourself," he told her. "I would've been putting your whole country in danger if I'd told the truth."

He sighed. "When I took this job, I thought I was helping to protect Deilig," he explained. "I understand now that that's bullshit. You're not our enemies, and you don't deserve to be lied to."

"Why are you telling me all of this?" Arizona asked, her voice wavering. "Why?"

Her heart was broken. She really, really liked this guy. She never cared about a guy the way she cared about Joel, and he just exposed this news to her. She sniffled, and tears finally starting sliding down her cheeks.

"Why would you do this to me?" She whimpered.

"I'm sorry," Joel told her again, sincerely. This was exactly what he didn't want. For Arizona to be hurt and to cry. She was the last clio to deserve this. "I swear I never wanted to hurt you. I've felt awful for weeks, but I just didn't know what to do." He shook his head. "I really do love you, Arizona. A part of me wanted to keep going as we were, just so that I could be with you. But I couldn't do that to you anymore. You deserve to know what's been going on."

Whoa, wait, Amp said suddenly. Did you say love?

I--no, I said like, Joel replied.

You definitely said love, Amp informed him.

I think he just told you that he loves you! Hamilton squeaked.

"What?" Arizona asked, wiping tears away. "What did you just say?" She wasn't sure how to feel about this. Did she love him back? Or should she tell him to leave? Thinking about him leaving though, being gone from her life forever, made her heart drop into her stomach.

She slowly reached out and took both of his hands into hers. "I'm so confused," she said with a tearful laugh. "I don't know what to do anymore..."

Joel blinked in surprise when Arizona took his hands and actually laughed, despite the fact that she was still crying. "I'll understand if you want me to leave," he mumbled.

I don't think she wants you to leave, Amp said, forever amazed at how dense Joel could be when it came to other clio.

"I meant what I said, though," he told her. "I really do love you." Somewhere along the line he had somehow fallen for this girl who was so opposite to him, who drove him crazy constantly, and who surprised him every day.

"I don't want you to leave," Arizona replied, while lacing her fingers into his. "I can't even imagine living in this giant estate without you..." She realized then that she did love Joel. He was the complete opposite of her, but maybe that's what she needed. Since their relationship started, she began partying and drinking less. She still went out occasionally, but it wasn't every weekend like it use to be. She was getting her work done, which was making Kavi and Hamilton happy, and instead of looking forward to hitting the bottle at the end of the day, she was looking forward to spending time with Joel.

"I love you too," she finally said. "And I forbid you to leave me." She smiled and sniffled, "You have to listen to me, I'm your boss."

Joel couldn't believe this. She was really going to forgive him. A smile began to spread across his face. "I'll do anything you say," he assured her, reaching out to brush a strand of hair out of her face. "I'll make this up to you somehow, Arizona, I promise."

He never could have imagined that this was how their conversation would go. He'd expected to be thrown out by a hurt, tearful Arizona, left on his own to return to Deilig and face whatever punishment was waiting for him. But instead she wanted him to stay. She loved him back. He could stay with her, be with her, no more lies or secrets. He could help protect Adhbhar by continuing to give false information. Somehow, someway, this had all worked out.

He leaned in and kissed her, amazed at how nice it felt to not have all that guilt holding him back.

When Joel kissed her, it felt totally different than all the others. He wasn't holding back with this one, he was putting his all into this kiss. No more guilt or lies. Arizona wanted to start crying again, she was so happy.

"I will protect you," she said, after pulling away momentarily. "We'll figure something out, maybe you could keep feeding them fake information, but I will make sure that you're safe."

Joel actually couldn't stop smiling as Arizona pulled away. "Thank you," he replied sincerely. Arizona may not be the most responsible or experienced overloridian, but she had a good, caring heart, and Joel didn't doubt for one second that she wouldn't protect him if she had to. "And I'll do my part to help Adhbhar. They're lucky to have you, you know."

"And I'm lucky to have you," Arizona replied. She reached up and ran her fingers through his curly hair. She slid her hand to the back of his head and pulled his lips back to hers. This kiss was more tender and slow, like they had all the time in Amelia, to just be together, without the worries or stressors of life.

Joel closed his eyes as they kissed, feeling completely content and at ease despite the insanity that had been his life for the last several weeks up until this moment. He began to slide his hands up Arizona's shirt, but then hesitated and stopped. He knew what he wanted right now, but he also didn't want to do anything that Arizona wasn't comfortable with.

As she felt Joel's hands touch her bare skin, Arizona knew what he wanted. Most clio wouldn't believe it, but Arizona was still a virgin. She had made out with a lot of strangers when she partied, but had never allowed anybody to get further with her. She decided right then though, that there was no better clio than Joel.

They continued to kiss and touch, and when it was time, it was the most incredible and romantic moment of Arizona's life, and afterwards, she lay in his arms, her head rested on his chest.

"I love you," she said quietly, while tracing small circles on his chest.

Joel held Arizona closely, feeling like the luckiest man in Amelia. "I love you too," he said, tightening the embrace a bit. Life had a funny way of working itself out, he thought. Not only had he done the right thing and come clean to Arizona, but he had realized that he had fallen in love with her. And, wonderfully, she still loved him too even after hearing the truth.

All in all, he couldn't be happier.