i kissed a girl and i liked it :: tahnee

It was a few days after the ice skating date-ish thing Liam had had with Marisol, and he was still fighting an internal civil war. Half of him was interested in the girl that was bringing out the best in him again, and half of him felt guilty to the point of sickness that he was letting Hope go. It was causing him to lose sleep, and so he'd accidentally slept through a meeting this morning.

Even before the missed meeting, Tahnee, his adviser and closest thing he had to a best friend, had expressed worry about him. He'd brushed it off, but after he'd missed the meeting he figured he ought to talk to her. If anyone could help him sort out his feelings, it would be her. She'd known Hope, and would help him make the decision of what to do.

Currently he was in his backyard with some food and lemonade waiting for Tahnee. They liked to eat lunch together sometimes, so he'd made her favorite sandwich, whatever it was.

Tahnee had indeed been worried about Liam. She noticed that he had been sleeping a lot less lately, and he seemed more down lately. She had tried to talk to him about it, but he kept brushing it off, acting like it was no big deal. It was a big deal though, especially when he slept through the meeting this morning! He never did that.

She was getting together with him for lunch today, to discuss things. She found him in the backyard, just where he said he'd be waiting for her. He even made her her favorite sandwich, turkey with mayonnaise, delicious!

"Liam," she said, smiling lightly. "Thanks for the sandwich!" She sat down across from him, and rested her chin into the palms of her hands, her elbows on the table.

"No problem, Tahn," Liam said, reaching over and pouring him a glass of lemonade. "Want some lemonade?" he asked, not waiting for an answer and he pouring her a glass anyway. He slid it across the glass patio table so it was sitting in front of her plate.

"How was the meeting this morning?" he asked her, glad that she at least had been able to attend.

Tahnee thanked Liam for the lemonade and took a small sip before she spoke again. She sighed and studied him for a moment, her brows slightly furrowed. What was she going to do with him? As his adviser she was disappointed, he was neglecting his duties! But as his friend, she was worried, she knew all to well how he handled Hope's passing, she didn't want him to fall back into that again.

"The meeting was alright," she replied. "The usual." She explained to him on what was missed, what he was going to have to do to make up for it, and any work that he might have to do. "Now," she said, after she finished talking about the meeting. "Explain yourself."

Liam dogged his head a little, sheepishly. He'd been hoping Tahnee wouldn't ask him about his absence. He blew out a breath and looked up at her with apologetic eyes.

"I've just been stressed out," he lied, hoping she wouldn't catch on. Her eyes told him that she saw right through him though, so he sighed again and pushed his leftover sandwich bits around on his plate. "Okay," he started again, willing himself to have a little more courage. "I kissed Marisol."

If Liam had been talking to a stranger they wouldn't have any idea why that was causing him stress, or why it had led to him missing a meeting, but he knew Tahnee would understand. She'd known Hope, and she'd lived with Liam the past seven years as they both adjusted to life without her. If there was anyone out there that understood how much Liam wasn't over Hope, it was Tahnee. It was probably why she was one of the only clio he was around often. All of his other friends had kinda fallen away. Tahnee never did.

Kyrie wanted to mention that Tahnee worked for him, or she may have fallen away too, but she stayed silent.

Liam wrote:"I kissed Marisol."

Mixed emotions all hit Tahnee at once, and half of them she didn't even understand. Was one of them jealousy? It couldn't be. Tahnee didn't know a lot about Marisol, but she did know that she was a young girl. Much too young for a 25-year-old Overloridian! When Liam had first told her he had been hanging out, she thought it was a little odd, (the age difference and all), but shrugged it off. But then there was the fact that Liam needed to move on. It had been so many years since Hope's passing. Hope had been one of Tahnee's best friends yes, and she still missed her dearly, but she wasn't letting it affect her whole life. All these mixed emotions were making Tahnee frustrated.

"Well..." she finally spoke up, trying to choose her words carefully. "This isn't necessarily a bad thing." She reached out and placed a hand on Liam's. "I know you miss her, Liam," she said sadly. "I miss her too, but I don't let it run my life..." She squeezed his hand, hoping to comfort him. Sometimes being brutally honest was the only thing one could do.

Liam sighed. Tahnee didn't understand. He knew that no one would, now or ever, but for some reason that had never mattered before. Now it mattered a great deal. If no one understood, no one could understand why this was ripping him open.

"I don't let it run my life," he said indignantly. He moved his hand out from under Tahnee's because he didn't want her pitying him. He picked up his last bit of sandwich with the same hand so that she wouldn't be offended and took a bite even though the last thing he wanted to do was eat.

The fact that clio expected him to get over Hope was maddening. She had been a living, breathing clio. With feelings and hopes and dreams. She had been real. She'd woken up every day and slept every night and she had soft hands and silky hair and liked to wear flip flops even when it was raining. And he had to live every day without her, because she didn't get to do any of those things anymore. How was he supposed to 'move on'? What did that even mean? Moving on just meant forgetting, and Liam refused. He would revisit each memory he could, as often as he could, until he knew for certain he would never forget.

"I wanted to talk about Marisol." Not Hope. He didn't want to talk about Hope because no one could talk about Hope the way he wanted them to.

Liam sighed. Tahnee didn't understand. He knew that no one would, now or ever, but for some reason that had never mattered before. Now it mattered a great deal. If no one understood, no one could understand why this was ripping him open.

"I don't let it run my life," he said indignantly. He moved his hand out from under Tahnee's because he didn't want her pitying him. He picked up his last bit of sandwich with the same hand so that she wouldn't be offended and took a bite even though the last thing he wanted to do was eat.

The fact that clio expected him to get over Hope was maddening. She had been a living, breathing clio. With feelings and hopes and dreams. She had been real. She'd woken up every day and slept every night and she had soft hands and silky hair and liked to wear flip flops even when it was raining. And he had to live every day without her, because she didn't get to do any of those things anymore. How was he supposed to 'move on'? What did that even mean? Moving on just meant forgetting, and Liam refused. He would revisit each memory he could, as often as he could, until he knew for certain he would never forget.

"I wanted to talk about Marisol." Not Hope. He didn't want to talk about Hope because no one could talk about Hope the way he wanted them to.

Tahnee sighed. He did let it run his life though, but she wasn't about to argue with him. Sometimes he'd have very good days, good weeks even where it didn't even seem like she was gone, but sometimes he'd get into moods where nothing could bring him out of it. Tahnee tried not to get frustrated, but it wasn't fair to her. She missed Hope too, but she didn't let it interrupt her life. When she started thinking like that, she'd immediately feel guilty and selfish. It was all so confusing, and she hated it. She just wished Liam could be happy.

Liam wrote:"I wanted to talk about Marisol."

"Okay," Tahnee replied. "What exactly about her do you want to talk about?"